Sometimes "In My Heart" Just Isn't Enough for Me, Maman ...

Goodbyes are inevitable.  

In the ME, in North America, in Europe.  

Goodbyes are a certainty.   

Everyone, at some point, will say their goodbye.  Whether it's casual or final is up to the stars to decide.

No one escapes a goodbye. 

But in the ME ....

"Well, ......"

Even the most casual of goodbyes becomes an event of tragic proportions, particularly as seen through the eyes of an 8-year-old.  

A spoken "goodbye" denotes a potential permanent detachment in even the most  trivial of situations.   

This is because we are living as expatriates in a land where we have no roots.  We do have friends, we have amazing friends ... and we will carry them in our hearts just as we have carried our family HERE in our hearts.

But we have no roots ...  

And our goodbyes are too often final ...

• Your nanny when you were 3?
• She moved back to the Philippines when you were 4.
• Your best friend in Grade 2?
• She never showed up for Grade 3 ... her family moved to America.
• Your favorite teacher?
• She had to move back to Canada mid-year to care for her ailing father.

You may or may not hear from them occasionally after they leave ... it all depends on how solid the relationship was.  

But the fact is your heart will ache.  

And as a child, that ache is all encompassing.  

You are left with your immediate family:  Mom, Dad, and siblings if you're lucky. 

No Uncles and Aunts to confide in, no cousins to depend on, no Grandmother or Grandfather to turn to. 

It's just you ... and Maman and Papa. 

So an old family friend comes to visit for a couple of weeks.  And you have a blast.  And you get spoiled.  And you are so excited to finally tell all your friends and all your teachers that you have someone from 'back home' here to visit you. 

And then after two weeks he says: 

"Goodbye ... "

And you cry.  And I tell you not to worry about it. 

"Just keep him in your heart, where you keep Pepere, and Grandmaman, and everyone else who you love but is far away."  

And you look at me, with your true blue eyes, and say "But Maman, sometimes 'in my heart' just isn't enough for me." 

And I sigh, nod in agreement, and cry just a little inside. 

Thanks for coming to visit, Uncle Shaun, and "aurevoir", "until we meet again".  We will carry you in our hearts, but we really don't want to say "goodbye". 

Safe travels.   

"Aurevoir, ce n'est pas tout-'a-fait Adieu ..." 

Uploaded by Eva Necka on 2011-08-20.

A Poem About Moving to the ME ... Or Something Like It ...

Tick

Tock

WTF? 

Life is just a ticking clock. 

I went racing 

To find gold

And on the way

I damn got old!

I chanced my luck

I made a buck

Along the way

I damn got f*cked!

I made a dime

I paid my time

But this is not

A nursery rhyme.

The dues

I paid

The bucks

I made

Have not an easy

Rich way paved.

It may still all

Just turn out fine

And hallelujah

Still be mine.

But just in case

It turns out wrong

I state my case

And pray it's strong. 

I did it all  

Just for my girl

I did it all

'cos she's my world.

I risked it all

I took a chance

Stripped to nothing

Did the dance.

It's all for her

Without a doubt

I might lose all

Or might

Luck out. 

But in the end

Win or lose

The choice I chose

Was mine

To choose. 

Tom Jones Rocked Doha ...

This is wayyyyyy past due.  But I thought it was worth posting.  Just in case there are any "true blue", "tie-dyed" Tom Jones fans out there. 

Here is a pic from the evening in Doha from Yours Truly ... 

Waiting in line ... proper polite British cue ... no shoving!

Unfortunately I couldn't upload my clips because they are incompatible and too big for SquareSpace and I'm too un-tech savvy to fix the problem.  

But here's the YouTube link to "Tower of Soul" ... which is just one song that makes this man the legend that he is.

All I can tell you is that it was more amazing live....

The man stood on a sweltering beach stage in a turtleneck and blazer belting it out like a teenager.  He was ... 

AMAZING! 

 (And yes, women DID throw their undies at him in the ME!!!!)

Wrestlers in the ME

I just lost an entire blog post ... about something entirely different than this post ... and I got over it.  

Quick.

No use bleeding all over the carpet about it, is there? 

I called Smilin' Vic, who's out with a Canadian friend visiting Doha, and he commiserated as I described the horror of losing a 2-hour diatribe to the viciousness of a Safari Shutdown.

And he was duly empathetic.  Smilin' Vic is the biggest GypsyInTheME supporter ever.  I have to love him for that and so much more.  

After losing all that, after the first time blogging in a while, I didn't feel much like putting any effort into writing. 

I started YouTubing ... and came across "The Wrestler" by Bruce Springsteen.  

And realized that sometimes I'm gonna "leave with less than I had before".  I remembered that doing what I love isn't always about winning.  Sometimes you write well; sometimes you write crap.  Sometimes you lose everything you write.  Sometimes you're just a 'one-handed' writer.

Once in a while, people will like what I have to write.  

And tell me, Friend, "can I ask for anything more?" 

It's so much like our life here. 

We're in the rink.  It's a fight.  We've left everything behind.  We're a 'one trick pony' and we're here to earn what we can off of it.   Every once in a while someone smiles when our "blood, it hits the floor".  But we can't ask for anything more.

We work day in and day out like a "one-armed man punching at the breeze" in the hopes that one day the bruises we display will bring us to that place we want to be.  

We are "the one legged man" he sings of.  Some days we are broken, but we refuse to be defeated.  At the end of the day, we are doing what we know.  Broken bones and bruises we display.  A one-legged duo trying to dance its way free ...  

Sad, but true.  

Not so sad, actually.  We're doing what we know, what we can, to make a life, to make a living, to wrestle our way to freedom ...

"Have you ever seen ... a one-legged dog makin' its way down the street?"   That's us, slightly broken, but making our way home ...

We've pushed away the comfort ... we proudly display the broken bones and bruises, and one day they'll bring us home.

One lost post won't break me .... nor will life in the ME ... 

Our blood will hit the floor, we'll be bruised, we might not be graceful ... but we'll make it.  It's the wrestler in us, wrestlers in the ME... 

OFFICIAL SONG - HQ WINNER OF BEST SONG @ THE GOLDEN GLOBES Snubbed from the 81st/2008 Academy Awards/Oscars... Bruce Springsteen wrote it as a gift for Mickey Rourke, in Darren Aronofsky's THE WRESTLER. **I cut out some of the opening because it goes on for a while.

Giving Thanks as a Canadian in the ME ...

I'd actually forgotten it was Canadian Thanksgiving.  Forgotten to say thank you.  Forgotten to appreciate.  That happens sometimes, when you're far away, thinking about yourself, about your reality.  When your view of the world, your perception, becomes your reality. And you forget about the rest.

But I've remembered now (thank goodness we had a Canadian friend visiting to remind us)!  And I'm thankful for that friend.  Thankful for him being here, thankful for him reminding us. 

We didn't have a turkey dinner.  We had pork ribs and potatoes in front of TV watching Home Alone with Kiddo.  I'm thankful for pork in Qatar .... I'm thankful for Kiddo.  I'm thankful for family.  I'm thankful for movie night. 

I called my two sisters.  I reached one on Skype.  I'm thankful for Skype.

I called my best friend in Canada.  She wasn't home.  But I discovered video messaging on Skype and left her a message.  I'm thankful for video messaging on Skype.

I just kissed Smilin' Vic good night.  He's been working about twenty days straight.  I am so thankful for Smilin' Vic. 

I called my Dad.  He has a bad cold, but he's ok, and he remembered me.  I'm thankful for that.

I found a kick-@$$ pair of heels on sale today.  Thankful for anything strappy that adds inches to my legs!

There's no traffic right now in Doha because it's Eid, so roads are empty.  Soooo thankful!!!!

I got time today to catch up on my favorite blogs ... You know who you are!  So thankful for my blogging buddies who keep me entertained.

Watched my kitty cat snuggle with anyone who was willing today.  Thankful we decided to be irresponsible and get a pet in the ME!

I'm thankful for health, happiness, good jobs, good school, good friends, good laughs, good times ...

Sat down and started to blog ....

Thankful.

Just thankful in the ME.